I’ve been talking about writing a post on BuzzFeed for years. Well, I finally found my topic. Here it is . . .
I’ve been back in California for around six days now. Up until yesterday, most of my time has been spent sleeping, as well as settling into my temporary home. My mobile office/recording studio is now ready to go. I even started to work on finishing up a single I began before moving a few weeks ago. My goal is to get it out to you all within the next month.
This week has been set aside for much needed rest, even though I did spend an hour recording yesterday [oops]. I plan to hit the ground running next week and move forward with the things God has been burning in my heart. I am excited and scared to be freelancing—that is the easiest way for me to sum up what I am doing. [Side note: If any locals are in need of portraits, my camera and I are looking for more gigs! Contact me for more details.]
So far, I have come to realize that I am even more tired than I thought. It’s interesting how one often doesn’t know how tired they are until they stop for a moment. It turns out, I truly needed to sleep and sleep, and sleep some more. I needed to sit at the Lord’s feet and listen without any distractions. I am so thankful that He provided me with a safe place to catch my breath and be restored.
It’s odd that most of my possessions can now fit inside one room. It feels terrific. During my recent travels, I walked away with a fresh desire to lighten my load and live off of less. For over two weeks, I lived out of a suitcase and my camera bag. To the best of my ability, I am aiming to keep my life as minimalistic as possible. When God tells me it’s time to move on, I want to be able to go quickly and easily.
So, what’s next? I have some projects to finish up and a vacation to look forward to in September. You can expect to see a much more consistent flow of new audio and visual content coming from me in the days ahead—now that I am freelancing and making my passions my job!
This being my first week [in quite some time] without the promise of an actual paycheck, I’ve already wrestled with fear once or twice. One of the keys to winning a match against fear is to make a list [in your head or on paper] of all of the ways God has come through thus far. Fear cannot survive in an atmosphere of faith.
Another key is to not allow your heart to linger past today. Don’t allow yourself to worry about tomorrow [Matthew 6:34]. If your focus is fixed on what has not been provided tomorrow, you will miss out entirely on the provisions found in today. [Check out one of my older posts titled, Enough for Today]
Living life in such a way is impossible without His presence. So, I continue to press into His presence which never runs out. It is only in His presence where true faith is born.
Lord, teach me how to create an atmosphere of faith wherever I go. Let my heart trust in You more than I trust my fears. Let me be quick to count each blessing and miracle, remembering all that You have done.
This morning I woke up at a truck stop in Emporia, Kansas. By eight o’clock, I had successfully cleaned myself up and had many a conversation with lady truck drivers and fellow travelers. One in particular happened to be from California. We chatted a bit while we brushed our teeth. It felt strange, yet normal.
After living on a shuttle bus for almost two weeks, I feel like I could live anyway and live off of much less than I ever imagined. I can’t help but think that God has been preparing me for this all along, as I reflect and look back at all the steps that have led me here. From all of my mission trips, to my days as a street performer, leaving home, resigning from good paying jobs on a whim, following His light straight into the dark. I am watching in amazement as God uses every experience to strengthen and prepare me for each adventure.
His mercies are new every morning, and He has been supplying me with grace upon grace. As each wall of my comfort zone is stripped away, I find an even greater depth of intimacy with Him. Even in the midst of recuperating from a cold, I have seen His sovereign hand resting upon me. In my moments of exhaustion, He has met me here.
I’m a shower-every-single-day kind of girl. I like my hair to be clean and I like to smell nice. It’s been a couple days since my last shower and I have now become quite accustomed to bathing with baby wipes and washing my face in the Walmart restroom. It honestly makes me laugh. I welcome the awkward and the uncomfortable. Life is much more joyful.
We are now on the final stretch of the tour. Our last stop is in Dallas, Texas. The closest I’ve been to Texas has been the airport, so I am rather excited to see a bit more of the state before I head home on Monday.
Special thanks to all of the truckers who put up with me running around the parking lot with my camera. Also, special thanks to the Flying J truck stop for providing me with the opportunity of purchasing this crazy wolf shirt that I am wearing today.
As of today, I have now been to the same amount of states as days I’ve been traveling. Tomorrow will be a week since my trip first began.
Where am I now? Wisconsin.
I had the lovely pleasure of dipping my feet into Lake Michigan in Kenosha this afternoon. It was stress relieving to walk barefoot on the beach while shooting photographs. Most of this trip has involved driving, so it was a nice change to get outside with my camera and unwind a bit.
As much as possible, I’ve been spending most of my alone time in silence. It’s a refreshing change, bringing healing to my soul, after many months spent in a chaotic environment.
I am reveling in simply being present in His glorious presence, allowing His glory waves to remove the debris of yesterday. Ever so gently, He reminds me of who I am and who He is. He helps me to remember that I am never alone and that He is more real than the sand beneath my feet.
I close my eyes.
Holy Spirit, wash over me and remove everything that hinders my heart from hearing Your truth.
My heart comes back to life, as He reaffirms every dream found within me. The deeper things that only He and I share. And just as I begin to think I can’t dream any bigger, Heaven opens wide and I find myself being taken higher and higher.
Higher and higher into Kingdom reality.
Lord, the place where You dwell does not have a ceiling. Teach me to live in Your Kingdom reality. A place where all things are possible.
Invest a moment of your time to stop and . . .
He is always speaking, always moving.
And when He speaks . . .
Take that next step.
He will meet you there.
We stayed in Fort Wayne, Indiana last night. A friend of the band blessed us with a place to stay and a shower. Yes, it was the best shower I have had in quite some time. I feel like a woman once more. 😉 One of their dogs even randomly appeared and snored by my side all night. It was just like being at home with Chad.
At this moment, the bus is headed to Chicago. I am doing well, even with quite a bit of sleep deprivation. God is here and He is good.
I told a five year old today that he needed to pray for me to have energy like him. He prayed for me on the spot,
“Thank you, Jesus. I ask you to give Stephanie a lot of energy. Help her to also do a lot of silly things. Amen.”
By living with less, I’m finding abundant joy.
Each morning brings a fresh measure of grace to see me through the day [says the girl who hasn’t taken a shower in three days].
Years ago, I know this would have been a much bigger stretch for me, but I am thankful that God is giving me the opportunity to grow without my normal luxuries.
His grace has no bounds.
I’ve learned that good quality dry shampoo does wonders for my unwashed hair [for the first few days], but today it is starting to get a little bit grungy. Well, it is what it is at this point. I will probably talk about my next shower for years. It will be the best one I have ever had. That said . . .
Compared to what I am watching the Lord do on this trip, my hair really doesn’t matter.
Also, I went into Walmart three times today and it didn’t even phase me. If you know me, you know that even the thought of going into Walmart gives me anxiety. Walmart is only okay if I plan it out and bring moral support. Yes, I went into a Walmart in Dayton, Ohio this morning. Three times. Alone.
I am enjoying the simplicity and ever-changing adventure that comes with traveling to new places day after day. This is the first time I’ve driven through this part of the states. Today we drove through Ohio and Indiana to get back to Michigan for the band’s show this evening. A lot of barns and corn. It’s lovely and fun to shoot. I’m a happy photographer-camper.
I have no idea where this journey is headed, all I know is that God is pouring out a tremendous amount of grace and endurance for me in the present. Leaving my previous job was the best decision I could have made. I feel so much lighter.
Lord, continue to lead me in this season. Show me the path I need to walk. Let my eyes stay fixed on You.
Reveal to me Your righteousness, and let Your holiness take control of all that I am. Let my thoughts, my words, my actions be aligned with Your Kingdom plans.
Guide me with Your peace, so that I will no longer be swayed by the circumstances surrounding me. Holy Spirit, have Your way.
I don’t know where this road will lead me, but I know that Your grace will be the light that guides my path. Awaken my heart, Lord, to Your Kingdom plans.
I am writing this post from a bus, as we head toward Cincinnati, Ohio. Last night I landed safely in Lansing, Michigan. Due to supernatural God-opportunities, I am on a brand new adventure with a team of wonderful people I met for the first time yesterday.
Friday was my last day at my full time job. I have closed that chapter and I am officially freelancing. God said it was time, and there is no other way to describe His confirmations other than supernatural.
So, now I am on a bus, heading over to Cincinnati, Ohio. Never in my wildest imagination would I have thought I’d be here a week ago.
I know, I know . . . I am being extremely vague. Few people know exactly what I am doing, but then again do I even know?
The gist of it is that I have an out-of-the-box job/ministry opportunity this month. I’m traveling in a shuttle bus converted into a tour bus, with a band that impacted me greatly when I was 18 years old.
Only God can open doors like this, and He did it when I became fully surrendered to walking straight into the unknown.
This road is far from easy, but my God is faithful. He is definitely keeping me on my toes.
I am standing at a crossroad very similar to one I stood at a couple years ago. In less than a few weeks, I will be leaving my current full time job and continuing on with my journey elsewhere.
My decision to resign was not simple. My position includes my home, which meant I would need to find a new place to live. It meant I would not have a steady income and that I would need to find a new job. I have also been on the cusp of burning out and it was almost too exhausting to even consider stopping and changing my life path right now.
That said, I realized that my health was on the line and I needed to take care of myself. So, I gave my notice and felt completely at peace. In that moment, it was as if a large burden fell off my back. There was hope.
This place of employment was a stepping stone. I found healing here. I found people who I am proud to say have become part of my family. I thank God for this season, but I also know that it is time for the next season to begin.
The peace I felt is still with me and so is a new excitement. Thankfully, Chad [my dog] and I have a place to live during this transition, but I don’t know a lot beyond that. I stand at this crossroad, asking myself,
Which risk should I take?
Do I go down the path I already know, and fall back on what I know I can do? I could do that. I know I could do that and get a job quickly. I have experience and already have a lead or two. This would be a risk. Maybe I’d have more money, that would probably be true, but do I want to take this risk just for the steady income?
I’m learning that I don’t need as much as I thought I did. In fact, I was a lot more joyful when I had less and was able to do the things I’m passionate about.
I expect to be scoffed at by some for saying things like this. I’ve had people look at me [in the past] like I’m being irresponsible for not saying yes to the first job that opens up. After all, that’s what we have to do, right? Here’s the deal . . .
I’m twenty-six years old. Life is only going to get more complex at this point. I figure, if I don’t jump now, will I ever have the courage? I see this open window of opportunity and it’s terrifying, but I know I eventually need to jump and see where it leads me.
Anyone who ever wound up doing what they are passionate about had to take crazy [and sometimes unpopular] steps to get there. I know that in order to see my dreams come to fruition, I am going to have to put myself out there and start walking it out with God today.
I don’t have time to start tomorrow because tomorrow is always going to be out of reach. Regardless of how nonsensical and out of the box it may seem to other people . . . is this the risk I need to take?
Money has always stood between people and their dreams, but I know that God is much bigger than money and my dreams combined. I know that my first job is to listen to Him and follow His direction. I’ve seen Him provide in supernatural ways, when I’ve had a steady income and in the seasons where I’ve lived from one day to the next.
I think I’ve made up my mind.
Which risk should I take?
I’m going for the path I haven’t yet taken. I’ll take the risk to do what I was created to do. The risk to do what I am passionate about, even if it means I have to face the unknown in the process. After all . . .
“We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are.”
― Max DePree
Teach me to look for You.
Last night was the conclusion of the Living Under the Open Heaven conference. It has been a delight to fellowship and experience God with such lovely people, and I am looking forward to seeing what God has in store for Iceland. We are now in tourist mode and will be venturing out and about for the next week.
Due to the fact that my mind feels like mush, I plan to write a longer and more informative update after I relax and play a bit. This afternoon we will be heading into a nearby town to visit some shops, drink coffee and debrief.
At this point, I will be taking many more photos and collecting video footage for a new film piece that I plan to release after I return home. To view more of my photography, visit my photo gallery. I have also been posting more updates on my Facebook.
All is well in Iceland. Now if you will please excuse me, I have touristy things to do. 😉