Oh, hello. I’ve been back from Iceland for a few weeks now—in case you were wondering, I did come back to the US! I’m sorry it took me so long to write an update. I realize that I left you hanging for almost a month, but I have honestly been having trouble finding the words. There were multiple occasions where I would sit down and try to force a new post into existence, until I came to the conclusion that I would give myself some time to breathe.
My time in Iceland was life-changing. I know that is something most people say when they return from a ministry trip, but this trip was unlike any of the others I have taken. Since I graduated high school, I’ve had the honor of visiting over half a dozen different countries. Each trip was significant, in its own way, and has had a huge impact on how I see the world around me, and how I live out my faith.
When I say that going to Iceland changed my life, I mean that it literally changed my life. I mean that there were areas in my heart that God healed in dramatic ways. He gave me a new perspective of His heart for me and began to take me back to situations in my past and bring closure.
Closure. That seems to be my word at the moment. And as He has been bringing healing and closure into the deepest places of my heart, He continues to take me close in His arms, and whisper gently,
“Your heart has been hurt and I see that. I want to make you whole.”
I’m letting go of things, I now realize, I had been holding onto for too long. (Lord, I release my grasp. I was never in control of those areas anyway.)
Old chapters end. New ones begin.
I’m learning to let Him treat my wounds immediately, rather than wait until they fester and grow. And it hurts. It hurts unlike anything I’ve felt at times, but the pain will only increase if left untreated.
The deeper I let Him work, the clearer my vision becomes. The things that were once cloudy come into focus, and some of it, perhaps, begins to make sense.
The life that is found in death.
The beauty that is found in the broken.
The “more” that God promises
that He has for those who take the risk
to love Him and to trust Him with everything.
I’ve written more songs in the recent weeks than I have in the last year. It has almost been as if I cannot breathe without releasing a new lyric. They come from the area where deep calls unto deep. They are my dialogues with the Lord. They are the desires of my heart put into melodies. That said, the album that I was planning on recording is going to be put on the shelf for now, but I believe I’ll still have something out by January . . .
This is where I am.
I write this with a smile, and with tears streaming down my face. Even though certain changes of late have turned my world upside down, the goodness of God fills my heart with joy. A joy that strengthens.
So, my friends, I am continuing to walk this path with my Father. We’re taking it one day at a time. I don’t have any agendas, big plans or itineraries planned out for the next couple months, or even beyond that. My first priority is to seek His face and to hear His heart. I don’t want to walk a single step ahead of Him. To those of my friends who live in California, feel free to hit me up. Many of you have expressed the desire to hear more about Iceland, and I’d love to catch up with you over a cup of coffee or something.
I’d also like to say thank you to those who have been loving on me through encouraging phone calls and messages. You know who you are. I’m blessed to have friends and family like you in my life. So blessed. I love you all very much.